If you’ve been reading this site for any amount of time, and I do apologize for my year long hiatus; I had a rather unfortunate change of employment necessitating a total relocation and overhauling of my life. Readers who have read my site before my hiatus, not that there was anything much to read anyway, know that I’m all about things that are awesome and radical. My previous two entries, one on the greatest podcast of all time: The Joe Rogan Experience and the other on greatest movie of all time: Arnold Schwarzenegger’s Commando, both has one thing in common, testosterone and manliness. That’s what I’m all about, homies.
So to continue along with that theme, today I’m going to talk about something that by the title may seem far less radical than the previous two entries, but in actual fact is essential to the radicalness and awesomeness of the previous two! That’s right, folks, I’m talking about whey protein, which is a powder that is greater than cocaine and talcum powder combined. Why is it radical? Because in combination with an intense regime of lifting heavy iron, you can become as jacked as Arnold Schwarzenegger or Joe Rogan! Disclaimer: may take years.
What inspired me to write this post? Well you see, in my year long hiatus, I discovered, or rather rediscovered, an old passion: the iron. And I don’t mean ironing my clothes either, that one I still hate. No brothers, I am referring here to the lifting of heavy iron, more specifically the discipline of powerlifting. In the past year I have been hitting the three main powerlifts: squats, deadlifts, and bench press more religiously than the pope attends Sunday mass.
Iron and protein go together like, um, the opposite of oil and water I guess. One cannot work without the other, after all the goal of lifting heavy iron is to get as strong as possible and build ginormous amounts of muscle and without protein your muscles just won’t grow! Let’s take a look at the basics: lifting weights causes micro-tears and abrasions to your muscles, and consuming protein allows your body to synthesize the amino acids (muscles are made of amino acids and protein consists of amino acids: BINGO!). From there your muscles get repaired except that your body repairs the muscle to be even stronger than before to get used to the new stress you placed upon it. Amazing!
Now, before any of you jump on my head over this, I KNOW that whey protein is not the only source of protein alright? I am well aware that ideally speaking, one would only get their protein from whole food sources such as meats, eggs, dairy, nuts, and vegetables. But guess what, I’m consuming over 200g of protein on a daily basis; just how much food do you expect me to eat? Just because I am doing powerlifting doesn’t mean I want to be those superheavyweight (read: fat as fuck) powerlifters whose full expression of athletic ability is waddling up to the bar and lifting admittedly humongous amounts of weights. No sir, I do like walking up the stairs without getting winded.
So given that I don’t want to consume massive quantities of food, which is never pure protein anyways, then protein supplementation via whey protein powders is the most logical and convenient answer. And before you rag on me about the cost, guess what, eating food is way more expensive and as long as you don’t waste your money on ‘super pure unfiltered tripled hydrolyzed whey’ bullcrap and just get a simple, basic, and cheap protein powder brand, your costs will end up much lower. Trust me on that.
And to address the final point, I’ll have you know that whey protein powders can in fact be extremely delicious. Here’s a simple recipe for you plebeians: buy some overripe bananas at your local supermarket, which would likely be massively discounted, and then chop them up and throw them into your freezer. After they’re frozen put them in a blender together with some milk, creatine, and of course whey protein and blend the whole thing up. Result: a delicious and creamy high protein banana milkshake. Totally excellent after another beastly session hitting the heavy weights. It also works if you’re a fatty who wants to lose weight: this can then become an ideal meal replacement shake: high in protein with moderate amounts of fats and carbs.
To end this post I shall leave my readers with this mantra: Praise Brodin and Wheymen.